Maintaining Mindfulness

 This week’s parsha, Parshas Vayigash, is connected to a famous midrash that describes the gentle way in which Yaakov is told that Yoseph is in Egypt. The midrash explains that Serach, the daughter of Asher, who was renowned for her singing, began repeating a gentle melody and singing about Yoseph being alive. No one wished for the elderly Yaakov to be startled by the news. It is a lesson in consideration and forethought.

Communicating information is, in some ways, a theme that runs throughout Yoseph’s story. Serach’s song is the epitome of conscientious thinking, and it is also the direct result of the communication that has already occurred. The most jarring contrast to it is when Yoseph reveals his true identity to his brothers.

“And he wept out loud, so the Egyptians heard, and the house of Paroah heard. And Yoseph said to his brothers, ‘I am Yoseph. Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him because they were startled by his presence” (Bereishis 45:2-3).

This was not conscientious. This was emotional. This was impetuous. This was ripping off the band-aid. When you think about it that way, it is not surprising that Yoseph found it necessary to repeat, several times, his assurance that he was not holding a grudge against his brothers. Information thrust at a person without adequate preparation can be traumatic.

As significant as the gentleness of Serach’s song is to Yaakov’s easily receiving the information that his presumed dead son was actually alive, there are also midrashim that note that Yaakov never fully believed Yoseph was dead. Here too we see the residual effects of information being shared without deeper thought to its impact.

“They had the ornamented tunic taken to their father, and they said, ‘We found this. Please examine it; is it your son’s tunic or not?’” (37:32).

Let’s be honest. That was not a kind and gentle way of revealing Yoseph’s supposed death. But the fact that it was so shocking, so unexpected, and that it was presented in such an unpalatable fashion, kept an ember of disbelief in Yaakov’s mind, making it so much easier to accept the eventual revelation of this divine plan.

Serach’s song is a lesson in communication that should be applied to many areas of life. Yoseph’s revelation of his identity and Serach’s announcement that he still lived were momentous milestones. Life, however, is filled with far less significant situations that, nevertheless, must still be handled mindfully.

Grand announcements and life changing revelations don’t come about so often in one’s life (although sometimes, for good or ill, they do). The message of mindfulness , on the other hand, can come in handy constantly. Whether one is sharing news, offering well-wishes, or trying to be supportive, one should always think ahead about how their words will be absorbed.