Thursday, November 28, 2019

Brothers and Uncles (Toldos #2)

Living in a supermarket society sometimes makes it hard to relate to some aspects of our agrarian/pastoral ancestors. If one is hungry, even for a fancy meal, one can have the basic ingredients on their counter within the hour. In fact, now with UberEats, a person can have quite a nice spread without any effort at all. It can only be assumed, however, that when Yitzchak asked Esav to fetch his hunting gear and prepare a meal for him that Yitzchak wasn't in a particular rush.

The base lesson most commonly cited for Parshas Toldos is that Yitzchak loved Esau and was, perhaps deliberately, oblivious to Esav’s true nature. This seems a strange casting of Yitzchak’s character, especially as Rivka would surely have shared with him the prophetic warning that “Two nations are in your womb, Two separate peoples shall issue from your body; One people shall be mightier than the other, And the older shall serve the younger” (Bereishis 25:23).
In fact, this warning even before their birth makes it a tad surprising that at first announcing their arrival, the text states: “And behold, twins were in her womb!” But, we know that already. Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, however, says this: “After she had been told of the contrasting difference between the expected children, one would have thought that they would be not identical twins and not look alike. The surprising thing was that they were really identical twins.” The only difference, he continues, was that Esav was so much more developed than Yaakov.
Some commentators say that one of the great flaws that occurred was that the boys were educated in the same way, that their differences were not taken into account. Bereishis 27:3-4, however, seems to reveal that Yitzchak was just as aware as Rivka of their sons’ different natures but, perhaps, rather than favor Yaakov, he chose to continue to try to connect with Esav.
It is interesting to think of Yitzchak as the seemingly compassionate parent believing always in his son, while Rivka seems to have abandoned hope. We commonly think of fathers as hard and mothers as soft, which is precisely why, according to commentaries, mother is mentioned first in the commandment “Every person shall revere/fear their mother and their father" (Leviticus 19:3) – mother is listed first because fearing one's father is the more normal state than fearing one’s mother. Perhaps that is why it is so easy to believe that Yitzchak was simply oblivious.
Understanding their parenting perspectives might be as simple as recognizing that even decades into their marriage, Yitzchak and Rivka were still heavily influenced by their own upbringing. Yitzchak was raised in a home in which all types of people learned from his parents, who were affected by his family’s kindness, and who made changes in their lives. In fact, he even had a close model of a person turning themselves around. The Midrash tells us that one of the men who accompanied Avraham and Yitzchak to the Akeidah was Yishmael. Although Sarah saw him as a bad influence and he was sent away in his youth, he did teshuva and return to his father’s camp. Thus one could say, based on his own brother, that Yitzchak had reason to hope that Esav would change.
The difference between Yishmael and Esav was that Yishmael does not appear to have tried to hide his nature or his deeds. It was easy for others to see what he was. Esav, on the other hand, is known for his duplicity, for “playing pious,” before his father. Rivka recognized this type of character, for this was the nature of her own brother, Lavan. Rivka, therefore, could be more realistic about the hope of Esav changing.
It may be an obvious statement that we are greatly influenced by our families and our childhood experiences, but there are few biblical narratives that demonstrate the subtlety of this influence as much as Parshas Toldos. Yitzchak’s relationship with Esav could well be a reflection of his childhood. Perhaps he was so reluctant to send Esav away, or even to relegate him to a lesser position than bachor (firstborn), because he remembers his own brother being sent away, or, at the very least, he remembers hearing stories of the traumatic event.
When Yitzchak sent Esav to hunt for him and to prepare his catch, he was throwing Esav a lifeline. He was acknowledging his recognition of his son's character, but, at the same time, by telling him that he wanted to open his heart to bless him, he was warning Esav that now was a critical moment, that now was the time for teshuva. Esav, who was perfectly aware and content with himself, could not hear that this was his father's final attempt at helping his son become worthy of his spiritual heritage.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Will She Take the Journey (Chayei Sarah #2)

You can’t force faith. It’s a fact. One can teach about beliefs and ideals. One can demonstrate living a life according to a strict moral code. But one cannot force someone else to believe in anything. This was something of which Avraham was well aware. Traditional texts record that Avraham and Sarah had many followers and that they were constantly teaching others about belief in the Creator, but what was most important to them was that each person find the opportunity, like Avraham, to truly find God on his or her own. The significance of this level of belief can be observed in the story of Rivka.
There is a seemingly odd discussion in the Gemara about whether Avraham had a daughter (Baba Batra 16b). One of the opinions is that Avraham had a daughter whom he called “Bakohl,” which means in or with everything. The Talmudic discussion is based on Bereishis 24:1, which says, "And Avraham was old, advanced in days, and Hashem blessed him with everything." The play-on-words interpretation that Avraham was blessed with a daughter whom he named Bakohl comes from the supposition that to have been truly blessed with everything, Avraham would have sired both a son and a daughter. 
Perhaps though, one could take this a step further and explain that the daughter with whom Avraham was blessed was his daughter-in-law Rivka. One could say, looking at the conversation between Avraham and Eliezer, that Avraham believed that Rivka, as a not-so-distant relative, had spiritual potential. The Torah tells us specifically that he knew of her:
Some time later, Avraham was told, Milcah too has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz the first-born, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram; and Chesed, Hazo, Pildash, Jidlaph, and Bethuel” - Bethuel being the father of Rivka. These eight Milcah bore to Nahor, Avraham’s brother (Bereishis 22:20-23).
Avraham could have named Rivka as the one he wanted Eliezer to find, but instead of naming her to Eliezer, he sent Eliezer back to his homeland with only the main instructions to bring home a bride and to not agree, under any circumstances, for Yitzchak would go there. And Eliezer appears to understand, for he too refers only to "the woman," leaving her specified yet undefined. 
So why didn't Avraham just tell Eliezer to go to Rivka? Because Avraham wanted to place no claim on her. For her to marry Yitzchak, she had to come completely of her own volition. To become Avraham's daughter, she had to have her own Lech Lecha type of journey, and Avraham was setting the stage for this to happen by sending Eliezer to find a wife from his land, from his birthplace, and from his father's house. There could be no hint of force or coercion in this process. It had to be completely from her heart and come from her soul; Just as today a convert must be completely sincere for the process to be correct.
But what if she said no? What if Rivka was not as strong as Avraham and Sarah had been? It was a possibility, and this, perhaps, was at the heart of Eliezer's question of what if she won't make the journey. Avraham recognizes this as a possibility, and this is why he is firm in his command that Yitzchak cannot go out of the Promised Land - so much so that he states it numerous times. If Yitzchak reverses Avraham's journey, then all will be lost. 
When Avraham sends Eliezer to Ohr Kasdim, he is "old and advanced in days.” He is ready to let a new generation take the lead, but for that he knows, better than anyone, that Yitzchak needs the right partner, and that partner must be one who can understand Avraham’s original journey. When he sends Eliezer to find Yitzchak a wife, he is completely confident that his family will be complete because he knows that Hashem has truly blessed him in everything.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

For Sarah's Honor (Vayera #2)

If one were to read Bereishis 20 through a purely early 21st century lens then one might mistake it for a story of harassment, attempted rape, and general misogyny. This is the chapter in which Avraham and Sarah travel to the city-state of Gerar, and, fearing that the residents would kill him to steal his beautiful wife, Avraham asks Sarah to present herself as his sister. (Ok, so one could throw in cultural superiority issues as well – although, to be fair, Avraham is actually chastised by Avimelech for his assumption that his people were so lacking in the fear of God.) God comes to Avimelech in the night and warns him that Sarah is Avraham’s wife, and his household is struck with an illness that is only resolved after Avimelech returns Sarah, presents them with gifts, and Avraham prays to Hashem for the health of the household.
One particular pasuk would certainly merit public outcry if a similar declaration were uttered by a leader in the modern world: “And to Sarah he [Avimelech] said, ‘I herewith give your brother a thousand pieces of silver; this will be a covering of the eyes for all who are with you, and you are cleared before everyone’” (20:21) The king is telling her that he is making reparations for kidnapping her by paying her brother!
It is interesting to note that even the 17th century commentator Siftei Chachamim found this odd: “But it seems to me [that the answer is:] If Avimelech really gave for her honor, why did he give [the silver] to Avraham? According to what Avimelech said [his intentions were], he should have given them to Sarah, which would have honored her more!” (Sefaria.org).
Perhaps the fact that he says he is giving it to her brother is over-shadowed by the fact that it very much looks like he is “paying her off.” Why is Avimelech giving them this money anyway? And let’s not forget the fact that in verse 19 it is stated that before he returned Sarah to Avraham, he gave Avraham sheep, cattle, manservants, and maidservants.
The opinion of many of the commentators is nicely articulated by the Rashbam (Rabbi Shmuel ben Meir, 12th century), who wrote that what Avimelech was saying was: “The thousand pieces of silver I had given to your brother represent a great honor for you, and they will serve as proof for one and all that you have not been disgraced in any way.”
For those of us reading the parsha with a 21st century eye, it is hard to understand how making a grand show of giving them riches is a demonstration that no questionable acts had occurred. Perhaps it could be understood that the gift of silver was a sign of respect such as one might bequeath to one’s distinguished guests. 
Or perhaps rather than thinking that it looks like Avimelech is paying off Avraham, one could interpret Avimelech’s actions as trying to protect Sarah. In an ancient Middle Eastern culture (and even many not so ancient Middle Eastern cultures), a man giving a gift directly to a woman would have been an unforgivable act of familiarity. Rabbi Bechaye, quoted in the Tzena Urena, writes “Avimelech told Sarah, ‘I have given your brother a thousand gold pieces, so that everyone will know that I did not touch you, and that I owe Avraham an apology. Had I given you the money everyone would have said you had relations with me.’”
Now that we understand that giving the thousand silver pieces to Avraham was not a way for Avimelech to demean Sarah, but rather an act meant to exonerate her from any questions to her reputation, it is hard not to wonder why Avimelech refers to Avraham as “your brother” rather than by name or as “your husband.” After all, the entire drama that has just occurred was specifically caused by the fact that theirs was a marital not a sibling relationship. The whole reason that he is sending them from his home is that she was not simply Avraham’s sister. 
Herein is, perhaps, one of the first political face-saving PR moves in recorded history. When, in Bereishis 12, similar events happened in Egypt and Pharoah took Sarai because they said they were brother and sister, Avram and Sarai were "unknowns." By the time they came to Gerar, Avraham was a regional figure. His wife, on the other hand, was a modest woman who kept herself out of the spotlight, as noted at the beginning of the parsha when the three visitors came and Sarah remained in the tent (18:9). So while it is reasonable that Avimelech didn't realize Sarah was Avraham's wife, when he did become fully aware of his error he could not, as Pharoah had done, just send them off with bombast and indignation.
Whereas Pharoah "put men in charge of him [Avram] and they sent him off with his wife and all of his possessions" (12:20), Avimelech's reaction was more level-headed. After giving Avraham gifts and returning Sarah, he made what might be understood as a public statement designed to be heard and understood by his court and his people, “See my land is before you, settle where it pleases you.’ And to Sarah he said 'Behold, I have given your brother a thousand silver pieces, and behold for you it is an eye-covering for all that are with you, and for all it is righted’” (20:19 - 21). 
When Avimelech says "See my land before you," he is setting a tone and affirming his rulership of the land of Gerar. His invitation for Avraham to "settle where it pleases you" is a passive recognition that Avraham is a leader in his own right and not subject to the whim of the king. So too, when he deliberately says that he is giving the silver to her brother, Avimelech is asserting that he would never consider taking another man’s wife. He is stating that he acted with honest intentions. He can make this statement with 100% honesty because he now knows their full relationship directly from Avraham’s own words “And besides, she is in truth my sister, my father’s daughter though not my mother’s; and she became my wife” (20:12). If he were to publicly acknowledge their marital relationship, even if it were known to the public, he would be opening himself up to speculation and accusation as it was far worse to possibly have slept with a married woman than an unwed sister. Therefore, in his somewhat public statement, Avimelech continues the premise that he sees them as siblings. 
The situation in Gerar is, in many ways, beyond our easy comprehension - if for no other reason than its surplus of uncomfortable actions: lying, kidnapping, incest, and obfuscation...but the fact is that for all that went wrong, Avimelech provides an excellent example of a man trying to make amends. The perek concludes with Avraham successfully praying for Avimelech and his household to be healed, and he can do so now because all of the people involved in the potential scandal have been vindicated and they stand on grounds of mutual respect.
 (Rashbam and Siftei Chachamim translations from Sefaria.org)

If you would like to read last year’s Vayera Parsha Post, “Passing Judgement on Nations,” please read it on the Times of Israel website ( https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/passing-judgement-on-nations/ ). And of course, please like, share, and /or comment on both!

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Lessons from the War of Kings (Lech Lecha #2)

“Lot looked about him and saw how well watered was the whole plain of the Jordan, all of it…so Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan…” (Bereshis 13:10-11).

Lot should have used a realtor! If he had, perhaps he would have known that the beautiful patch of land that had caught his eye and beckoned him with unspoken promises of wealth to come was actually a hotbed of trouble.

There is no recording of how long it was after Lot moved to Sodom that the entire valley was enmeshed in war, only hinting, later, that it was long enough for him to be considered settled and for his identity and his connection to Avram to be known. Lot moved to Sodom in Bereishis 13, and all of perek 14 is a description of a regional conflagration that, until its conclusion, has nothing to do with Avram, Sarai, or the future of the Jewish people, which makes it almost odd that it was included in the Torah when so many smaller, more meaningful moments in Avram’s life were not.

If one was only to study Bereishis as a means of understanding the lives of our ancestors, then the text should simply have stated that King Chedorlaomer of Elam and his three closest cohorts defeated the rebellion of the five kings of the valley region of Sodom and, on their way home, looted Sodom and took Lot (and all of his possessions) captive. Only in the hostage-taking of Lot and Avram’s actions afterward appear relevant to understanding our forefather.

But the Torah, in between noting the defeat of “The Five” and the taking of Lot, includes six verses explaining the background of the conflict. King Chedorlaomer and his hosts made the valley kings into his vassals and, 13 years later, they rose up in rebellion. The war was actually the suppression of this rebellion, and the Torah includes the details of all the places that the armies with King Chedorlaomer conquered on their way to battle “The Five” in the Valley of Siddim. Then the Torah offers a taste of the character of the kings of Sodom and Amora, who, “in their flight, threw themselves into them [the bituim pits], while the rest escaped to the hill country” (14:10).

As interesting as this side-note of history may be, the question must be asked as to why it received so much detail, so many verses? What eternal lesson can we gain reading about the petty politics of the ancient residents of the land of Canaan?

One common answer is that the Torah records these details – the kings and the names of the cities that were conquered – in order to emphasize the incredible nature of Avram’s defeat of the looting victors. This was, as the Radak says, “due to God wanting Avram to acquire the reputation of being a mighty warrior, if need be. This is part of the way in which God fulfilled His promise to Avram 'I will make your name great.'”

Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch points out that this war had the potential to affect Avram in the same way as the famine when he first entered the land. No sooner had he returned from Egypt, where he had gone to avoid the famine, then he discovers that Canaan is a land coveted and fought over by kings of city-states big and small. The lesson to be learned from this – the lesson being shown to Avram and recorded for all of his posterity – was that the Promised Land was not a land of easy promise.

Rav Hirsch states: Left to itself the land of Israel lay open to famine and political dependence. Situated where Europe, Asia and Africa meet, hardly any world-war has occurred into which it has not been drawn. And just because of this was it chosen. If, in spite of this, a national life would blossom against which no conqueror would dare attack … if all the kingdoms of the world would clash together there and make war on each other, but no sword would dare enter this blooming and yet defenceless land, then the eternal fact would have been brought to the eyes of the nations [that] here God lives.

Obviously Rav Hirsch, who lived in the 19th century, had enough knowledge of history to see how true this message was. And we who live in the 21st  century, who have had the privilege of celebrating the State of Israel’s 71st  anniversary, have been able to witness how our people have been blessed with the land flourishing once again and, with Divine providence and immense sacrifice, the enemies that have threatened its borders continuing to fail.


It is interesting to consider that perhaps the Torah includes so much detail about the history of this conflict to demonstrate that Avram, who was a shepherd and therefore travelled the land, would have known about it. Perhaps having accepted that his inheritance of the land was a promise for the future he did not feel that the war had anything to do with him. The capture of Lot, who maintained some of the spirituality he had acquired with Avram, was Hashem's indication to Avram and his descendants that never again could they be casual about world affairs. They were now to be central to history - sometimes in the foreground but often in the background – and no matter of world affairs could be assumed to be innocuous. Time after time, as the Jewish diaspora spread around the globe, the Jewish people have found themselves deeply affected by situations not of their making. And, time after time, like their forefather Avram, their fellow Jews have stood up to help their brothers in need.



Previous Lech Lecha Post: https://cthedawn.blogspot.com/2018/10/lech-lecha-avram-lot-and-challenges-of.html