For Sarah's Honor (Vayera #2)

If one were to read Bereishis 20 through a purely early 21^st century lens then one might mistake it for a story of harassment, attempted rape, and general misogyny. This is the chapter in which Avraham and Sarah travel to the city-state of Gerar, and, fearing that the residents would kill him to steal his beautiful wife, Avraham asks Sarah to present herself as his sister. (Ok, so one could throw in cultural superiority issues as well – although, to be fair, Avraham is actually chastised by Avimelech for his assumption that his people were so lacking in the fear of God.) God comes to Avimelech in the night and warns him that Sarah is Avraham’s wife, and his household is struck with an illness that is only resolved after Avimelech returns Sarah, presents them with gifts, and Avraham prays to Hashem for the health of the household.

One particular pasuk would certainly merit public outcry if a similar declaration were uttered by a leader in the modern world: “And to Sarah he [Avimelech] said, ‘I herewith give your brother a thousand pieces of silver; this will be a covering of the eyes for all who are with you, and you are cleared before everyone’” (20:21) The king is telling her that he is making reparations for kidnapping her by paying her brother!

It is interesting to note that even the 17th century commentator Siftei Chachamim found this odd: “But it seems to me [that the answer is:] If Avimelech really gave for her honor, why did he give [the silver] to Avraham? According to what Avimelech said [his intentions were], he should have given them to Sarah, which would have honored her more!” (Sefaria.org).

Perhaps the fact that he says he is giving it to her brother is over-shadowed by the fact that it very much looks like he is “paying her off.” Why is Avimelech giving them this money anyway? And let’s not forget the fact that in verse 19 it is stated that before he returned Sarah to Avraham, he gave Avraham sheep, cattle, manservants, and maidservants.

The opinion of many of the commentators is nicely articulated by the Rashbam (Rabbi Shmuel ben Meir, 12th century), who wrote that what Avimelech was saying was: “The thousand pieces of silver I had given to your brother represent a great honor for you, and they will serve as proof for one and all that you have not been disgraced in any way.”

For those of us reading the parsha with a 21st century eye, it is hard to understand how making a grand show of giving them riches is a demonstration that no questionable acts had occurred. Perhaps it could be understood that the gift of silver was a sign of respect such as one might bequeath to one’s distinguished guests. 

Or perhaps rather than thinking that it looks like Avimelech is paying off Avraham, one could interpret Avimelech’s actions as trying to protect Sarah. In an ancient Middle Eastern culture (and even many not so ancient Middle Eastern cultures), a man giving a gift directly to a woman would have been an unforgivable act of familiarity. Rabbi Bechaye, quoted in the Tzena Urena, writes “Avimelech told Sarah, ‘I have given your brother a thousand gold pieces, so that everyone will know that I did not touch you, and that I owe Avraham an apology. Had I given you the money everyone would have said you had relations with me.’”

Now that we understand that giving the thousand silver pieces to Avraham was not a way for Avimelech to demean Sarah, but rather an act meant to exonerate her from any questions to her reputation, it is hard not to wonder why Avimelech refers to Avraham as “your brother” rather than by name or as “your husband.” After all, the entire drama that has just occurred was specifically caused by the fact that theirs was a marital not a sibling relationship. The whole reason that he is sending them from his home is that she was not simply Avraham’s sister. 

Herein is, perhaps, one of the first political face-saving PR moves in recorded history. When, in Bereishis 12, similar events happened in Egypt and Pharoah took Sarai because they said they were brother and sister, Avram and Sarai were "unknowns." By the time they came to Gerar, Avraham was a regional figure. His wife, on the other hand, was a modest woman who kept herself out of the spotlight, as noted at the beginning of the parsha when the three visitors came and Sarah remained in the tent (18:9). So while it is reasonable that Avimelech didn't realize Sarah was Avraham's wife, when he did become fully aware of his error he could not, as Pharoah had done, just send them off with bombast and indignation.

Whereas Pharoah "put men in charge of him [Avram] and they sent him off with his wife and all of his possessions" (12:20), Avimelech's reaction was more level-headed. After giving Avraham gifts and returning Sarah, he made what might be understood as a public statement designed to be heard and understood by his court and his people, “See my land is before you, settle where it pleases you.’ And to Sarah he said 'Behold, I have given your brother a thousand silver pieces, and behold for you it is an eye-covering for all that are with you, and for all it is righted’” (20:19 - 21). 

When Avimelech says "See my land before you," he is setting a tone and affirming his rulership of the land of Gerar. His invitation for Avraham to "settle where it pleases you" is a passive recognition that Avraham is a leader in his own right and not subject to the whim of the king. So too, when he deliberately says that he is giving the silver to her brother, Avimelech is asserting that he would never consider taking another man’s wife. He is stating that he acted with honest intentions. He can make this statement with 100% honesty because he now knows their full relationship directly from Avraham’s own words “And besides, she is in truth my sister, my father’s daughter though not my mother’s; and she became my wife” (20:12). If he were to publicly acknowledge their marital relationship, even if it were known to the public, he would be opening himself up to speculation and accusation as it was far worse to possibly have slept with a married woman than an unwed sister. Therefore, in his somewhat public statement, Avimelech continues the premise that he sees them as siblings. 

The situation in Gerar is, in many ways, beyond our easy comprehension - if for no other reason than its surplus of uncomfortable actions: lying, kidnapping, incest, and obfuscation...but the fact is that for all that went wrong, Avimelech provides an excellent example of a man trying to make amends. The perek concludes with Avraham successfully praying for Avimelech and his household to be healed, and he can do so now because all of the people involved in the potential scandal have been vindicated and they stand on grounds of mutual respect.

 (Rashbam and Siftei Chachamim translations from Sefaria.org)

If you would like to read last year’s Vayera Parsha Post, “Passing Judgement on Nations,” please read it on the Times of Israel website ( https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/passing-judgement-on-nations/ ). And of course, please like, share, and /or comment on both!