A Truly Personal Parsha Prose Prior to Pesach I

  don’t know how many of you are like me, but I felt like sharing some personal thoughts and reflections now, as I sooth my aching feet after a full day of the domestic avodah necessary to prepare for Pesach. As those who know me well will attest, neither housework nor the need to be meticulous suits me very well. The emotional energy of it is almost as draining as the physical action involved. The worry of having missed something, of having shrugged off something important, or of having just plain forgotten an entire set of drawers is always present with me during the days leading up to Pesach. (Don’t be alarmed, I haven’t worked myself into enough of a tizzy to be cleaning any of my light fixtures!)

 

All this physical Pesach prep usually leaves me with a lack of time to do the spiritual preparations, to focus on why this ritual-filled meal is so important to me, to my kids, and to the entire Klal Yisrael. Indeed, I do try to direct my attention in that direction, and every year in my head I dream up different ways to make my family’s seder more engaging and interactive.

 

Growing up, my family’s seder consisted of going around the table and each taking a turn reading a paragraph. As I became more observant, commentaries were added into the round-robin reading. At a larger table with kids of various ages, however, too many extra added commentaries can deflate the excitement, and trying to find creative ways to spice up the seder is often met with dead eyed stares or subtle sighs.

 

This week, I listened to a wonderful shiur by Rabbi Joey Haber during which he gave ten ideas for enhancing the seder. During one of those suggestions, he mentioned how his own family is more into debate than discussion. It made me contemplate how I yearn to create a vibrant, exciting seder full of laughter and memorable moments during which my children are inspired and deepen their connection to Hashem. When I was younger, I made game sheets, question flash cards, and even, one year, drawings for those perfect illustrative moments. But not only were they, shall we say, unappreciated… by the other members of the seder, they were difficult for me to integrate as the reading went on.

 

To be honest, even haggadot full of what must be cool commentary, purchased fresh each year, can be difficult to manage during a seder as there is little time to read ahead and make sure the commentary will be well met by the rest of the table.

 

Listening to Rabbi Haber, I thought about my own family’s preferences and realized, not for the first time, that, well, we have no one style. Hashem blessed me with 5 very individual children, and so my seder - or my anything - will always be a balancing act between creativity and straight-forward text, between drashot and singing. Everyone has their own needs, and the seder must address them all.

 

It's a beautiful reminder about one of the most integral aspects of the Pesach offering. The eating of the Pesach offering was a communal event, and it still is. The seder brings people together to talk about Yetzias Mitzrayim. The significance of Yetzias Mitzrayim, beyond Hashem demonstrating His greatness, was that it was the forging of a nation.

 

When Hashem brought us out of Mitzrayim, we went from a large familial group to a nation, to a people with structure and culture and expectations of each other.  Most importantly, that nation was woven together by faith, by a recognition of Hashem in our lives. Fairly stated, emuna is a very difficult thing to maintain, especially in trying times. Also, fairly stated again, emuna is not one size fits all. Different people are inspired by completely different facets of Torah, but the core remains the same.

 

Mitzrayim was a place but, chazal notes, it is also a concept. Mitzrayim refers to a narrow or constricted place, and as we note in the Haggadah when we speak of Every Generation facing those who wish to destroy us, it is a concept that repeats itself – as we see all too well today. But we hold on and our faith, our belief that Hashem fulfills His promise of redemption, remains.

 

At the seder, we will call out that who ever needs should come. It doesn’t matter who you are; it matters that you want to come and celebrate our redemption for Mitzrayim. Who ever needs isn’t just about having food for the seder. Needing food is just one form of wanting. Some people need safety. Some people need family. Some people just need other people because life circumstances has left them alone, and the korban Pesach could not be offered and eaten alone (I mean, I guess if one was really, really, really a good eater they could eat a whole kid-goat alone!). Who ever is in need, come to our seder. It doesn’t matter if you want to say drashot, hold debates, sing gustily, or just sit and absorb – come and join, and you will add to our seder.

 

As the final preparation day dawns, I hope to have time to peak into my newest haggada (Rav Hirsh – so excited), to write down thoughts to share, perhaps even to prep my questions. It probably won’t happen, and it likely won’t be well-met by my children eager to bring their own flavor into the seder. And that is totally okay. That too is part of the annual Seder preparation.

 

Have a beautiful Shabbas and a Chag Kasher v’Sameach. Don’t forget to take time this Yom Tov to appreciate the diversity in your own family and the diversity within our nation. Take time to thank Hashem for being here after “In every generation.” (This week’s parsha, Tzav, does talk about the Thanksgiving offering given by one whose life was spared… you make the connection). And don’t forget to take the opportunity to express yourself at your seder.