This week's parsha, Parshas Pekudei, is the last parsha of Sefer Shemos and is mostly - well, almost entirely - focused on the completion of the pieces of the Mishkan and its assembling. Like all parshios, Parshas Pekudei is named for the first significant word in the parsha, and, as so often happens, there is important subtext to the use of this word.
“Eleh pekudei haMishkan…This is an accounting of the Mishkan…” (Shemos 38:21).
The word “pekudei” is strong and informative. The parsha opens with pasukim that specify exactly how Bnei Yisrael's donations were used in producing the pieces in the Mishkan. The Midrash, however, explains why the accounting happened at all. There were, it seems, actually people who suspected Moshe Rabbeinu of pocketing some of the gold and silver. Here was a man who had walked away from royalty, who had dedicated himself to the people, and who had spoken to Gd to beg for the lives of the entire nation! How could anyone possibly suggest that Moshe had misappropriated funds?
In the book “Rav Chaim Kanievsky on Chumash,” it is noted that Rav Chaim pointed out that the avnei zikaron, the remembrance stones” are written in Parshas Tetzaveh without a vav in the word zikaron (rememberance) but with a vav in this week’s parsha. When written without the vav, Rav Chaim states, “zikaron always indicates a positive remembrance: remembering a merit or a promised reward” (p. 439). The added vav, however, indicates that the remembrance has grown wider. “While the stones could still serve as a remembrance of their [Bnei Yisrael] merits, they could now also remind Hashem of their sins, if they proved unworthy” (ibid.).
The difference of Tetzaveh and Pekudei? The chait haegel (sin of the golden calf). We all understand, on some level, how terrible the chait haegel was. The chait was transformative - and not in a good way. Beyond losing the ultimate connection with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we, the Jewish people, lost faith in ourselves.
In a way, the chait haegel had an impact on Bnei Yisrael that is similar to the effect on all of humanity that came from Chava eating from the eitz hadas (the tree of knowledge of good and bad). This one act shifted the perception of everyone ever after. Prior to the eating of the fruit, humanity was able to perceive the world with innocence, without an inner yetzer harah. After they ate, however, Adam and Chava saw the world so differently that they could no longer look at each other without seeing nakedness.
At Har Sinai, Bnei Yisrael reached an incredible level of kedusha. They were raised onto a spiritual level that should have made them see the world in a way that, well, to be honest, we today just cannot fathom. I imagine that they would have had a unique perception of Hashem’s din and rachamim. And when they set out to have Aaron make the egel, it is understood by our sages that they did so out of a desire to have a means of getting closer to Hashem because there were subtle insinuations of doubt of Moshe’s return. The whispers that Moshe had been gone too long were as insidious as the serpent making Chava doubt herself by showing her that the tree was safe to touch.
The sin happened. The sinners were rebuked and also forgiven. Their understanding of the world - their place in the world - however, had shifted once again. Before the chait, Bnei Yisrael was focused on Hashem and connecting to Him, so Hashem could plan that the avnei zikaron were reflections of their merit. After the chait, however, Bnei Yisrael must live with the knowledge that they are capable of such sin and that their friends and neighbors are capable fo such sin. The only way that anyone could have accused Moshe of misusing the funds for the Mishkan was if they had had such thoughts themselves, and such thoughts could only have power if one doubts oneself and thus everyone else.
When Bnei Yisrael committed the chait haegel, they broke more than Hashem’s trust; they broke their trust in themselves. The avnei zikaron would now be remembrances of both good and bad because Bnei Yisrael had removed themselves from the spiritual level of Sinai and returned to a more common level, a level on which they perceive both good and bad in themselves and in others.
Taking it a step further (and out on one of my limbs), this is the level that allowed them to complain over and over in the wilderness. Bnei Yisrael no longer perceived Hashem’s din and rachamim as the Divine forces of the world but were now low enough to question even Hashem. This is how we today are capable of being angry at Hashem, even though true bitachon requires the recognition that everything that happens is, ultimately, for our own good. It’s still emuna. We still know that Hashem is the active force of the world, but we are not able to see it for what it is.
The accounting of Pekudei occurred because the people were now capable of doubt, of assuming ill of Moshe. That does not, however, make the accounting a bad thing. Am Yisrael resides in a world in which the other nations are constantly judging our nation, and we must learn from Moshe that even when there is no need to show our honesty, an honest accounting is always beneficial.
Wishing you all a good Shabbas
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