Parshas Shemos – Who me?

Dedicated as a tefilla for the speedy end to these challenging times.

The fourth perek of Sefer Shemos begins in a seemingly abrupt manner: “Moshe answered and said, "Behold they will not believe me, and they will not heed my voice, but they will say, 'The Lord has not appeared to you'" (Shemos 4:1).

This response comes in the middle of the narrative of the burning bush, and this narrative is well-known for highlighting Moshe’s reluctance to take on the role of leadership. Indeed, he questions his capabilities, and thus Hashem’s choice, both before and after this pasuk (verse):

“But Moshe said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should take the children of Israel out of Egypt?... And Moshe said to God, "Behold I come to the children of Israel, and I say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they say to me, 'What is His name?' what shall I say to them?" (3:11,13)

And

“"I beseech You, O Lord. I am not a man of words, neither from yesterday nor from the day before yesterday, nor from the time You have spoken to Your servant, for I am heavy of mouth and heavy of tongue… But he said, "I beseech You, O Lord, send now [Your message] with whom You would send" (4:10, 13).

Moshe’s first response is logical. He was an Egyptian prince; it makes no sense for Bnei Yisrael to believe him. His third response is also logical because he is noting an actual limitation, a speech impediment. It is interesting, however, that this is the verse that most often leads into a discussion of Moshe’s sense of self, of his allowing insecurity to take hold. That discussion seems most appropriate for our originally quoted pasuk, 4:1.

Perhaps you are wondering why it is significant to consider which refusal of Moshe has deeper meaning. The important part, after all, is understanding that at Moshe’s first conversation with Hashem, he tried to remove himself from the position of leader, and thus we can understand that Moshe, though raised as a prince, was a humble person.

But there is significance here. Indeed, the significance stands out from the fact that these are the first words of a perek (chapter). Perek daled begins, literally, with an answer, v’ya’an. But answers are, by nature, the response to a question, or, at the very least, to a statement. So why would this be the place to start the perek.* It certainly wasn’t a worry that a perek would be too long. Perek Gimmel is only 22 verses.

This is the pasuk that shows us the real humanity of Moshe. Not his humility, his humanity. Moshe’s response to this intense set of instructions is to worry, again, that “they will not heed my voice.” He was able to ignore everything else that he was being told. He didn’t question the wisdom of bringing the elders to Pharoah. He didn’t argue about asking to take the slaves out for a three-day holiday, which might seem like a pittance. He didn’t ask why Hashem wanted him to go to Pharaoh if Pharaoh would only reject him and that Hashem knew this.

Moshe’s been given the words to prove himself. He’s been told exactly what will happen. And Moshe still gets stuck on the very first line of God’s instruction: Go to the elders. His question here is a question that every person faces at different points in their lives: What if they don’t hear me? What if they reject me? What if they don’t accept me?

Opportunities for leadership abound (obviously not generally so significant or important as Moshe’s). We see it all the time in our communities where there is such deep need for leadership and so many opportunities to organize tzedakah and chesed outlets. Perek Daled is asking us, each individual, to recognize that when we say, “Who me?” or “Oh someone else will take charge of that,” we are ignoring the fact that Hashem always has a well-laid out plan for us and our own insecurities are often the biggest impediments to letting Him show us His direct involvement.

Moshe was a stranger. Moshe had a speech impediment. But most significantly, Hashem did not let Moshe get stuck on worrying about how others would react to him. This verse, simple as it may be, holds a very important lesson for life.

*This could also turn to a discussion of the history of pasuk and perek (verse and chapter). The Torah was not given to Am Yisrael with these divisions. They were added later, by Christians in the Middle Ages. They have, however become accepted, and so one wonders why it was decided that this was a good place to start a new chapter.