Brothers and sisters - if you have them or you parent them, then you know that the relationships can be complex. From love to hate, from insepreable best friends to bitter rivals, we find even in the Torah that these are some of the most complicated dynamics that people have to deal with in life. In Parshas B’haalos’cha, we get a close up view of the fascinating dynamic of the children of Yocheved and Amram.
Not included in this week’s parasha are some vital facts to their relationships. Miriam was the oldest, and she was so dedicated to her family unit that Miriam risked her life by approaching Pharoah’s daughter after Bisya had pulled Moshe’s basket from the river.
Aaron was the oldest son of Amram, a leader of the tribe of Levi, and yet he had no reservation about stepping aside and letting his younger brother lead the Jewish people. He felt no jealosy and presented himself as ready to assist. In the dynamic of Moshe and Aaron, we see the first sibling dynamic in the Torah in which there is no strife (except perhaps Menshe and Ephraim).
Miriam, Aaron, and Moshe are a family united in their desire to uplift the Jewish people and serve Hashem, which is why we are shocked by the well-known events of Bamidbar 12. Miriam speaks lashon harah (gossip or conjecture) with Aaron about Moshe.
The midrashim and commentaries generally make it clear that their intentions in discussing Moshe’s marriage were not to demean him or his wife but out of concern for him. Nevertheless, it is considered lashon harah, and the consequence is that Miriam is stricken with the affliction of tzaraas. But some of the details, some of the easily overlooked wording in the Torah, adds a beautiful sense of the dynamic of these incredible siblings.
For instance, after the Torah alludes to their conversation and asserts that “Moshe himself was very humble, more humble than any man on the face of the earth” (12:3), the Torah records that Hashem called to Moshe, Aaron, and Miriam to come to the Tent of Meeting and then He called Aaron and Miriam out to rebuke them. This was a situation that effected all of them as a family and as leaders of klal Yisrael. The fact that verse 3 describes Moshe’s humility implies that Moshe knew that they had spoken of him and had chosen not to react. Hashem is showing him that it is okay to stand up for himself and for his special and unique role, but that it is important still not to embarrass those who did wrong by rebuking them in front of him.
After Hashem gives them tochacha, when Miriam is stricken with tzaraas, the Torah strangely notes that “When Aaron turned toward Miriam, he saw that she was stricken with tzoraas. And Aaron said to Moshe, ‘oh my lord, account not to us the sin hwich we committed in our folly” (12:10-11). And Moshe immediately did pray for her.
Why does the Torah describe Aaron seeing that Miriam was afflicted, since it would seem obvious as he was standing there and the first half of the verse states that she was thus afflicted? Why does Aaron speak in the first person plural of their sin when only Miriam appears afflicted?
The dynamic of these siblings is, perhaps, a model for us all to understand the broader concepts of self and family, that family being all of klal Yisrael. People make mistakes. Siblings hurt each other, even when they don’t intend to. But when push comes to shove, they stand together.
Aaron did not accept that Miriam’s tzaraas indicated only her guilt. He saw that his sister was stricken, and he held himself to account, he asked Moshe to forgive both of them. Moshe did not hesitate one moment before praying for his sister’s recovery, recognizing that there was no malicious intent.
People do bad things. People say things that hurt each other, and often they do so with only the best intentions. And when those incidents occur, we must not look upon the person as an other, as an offender, as an enemy - but rather we must look upon them and see a person who is like ourselves, a member of our family.
Wishing you all a Shabbat Shalom
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