In
classic, stereotypical parenting, the type that makes one think of Leave It To
Beaver, a mother wishing to draw a line of discipline for her child would often
say, “Just wait until your father gets home!” This threat left the role of
disciplinarian to the father and thus was attached to dad the seemingly cliche line
of “This is for your own good” (or, similarly, “This hurts me more than it
hurts you”).
Until recently in history, this was considered normal parenting. In recent generations, however, we parent more gently. The father’s role is less severe and punishment is often considered detrimental. (Yes, this is a stark generalization.) Perhaps this "more gentle” idea of parenting is one of the reasons that those who disdain religion accuse God of being a hard and cruel deity, but Jews refer to God as Avinu, our father, because we see beyond the black-and-whiteness of the text and the rules and the punishments declared. We see fatherly love.
How does this connect to the parsha? Because in this week’s parsha, Moshe says to Bnei Yisrael: “And you shall consider in your heart that just as man chastises his son, so the Lord your God chastises you” (Devarim 8:5).
The Torah commentator Sforno (Rabbi Obadiah Sforno - Italy - 1475-1550) explains that “along with the commandments He has given you, He gives you a superior moral/ethical challenge to help you achieve perfection as seen from His perspective.” The disciplines - the challenges - that God gives to you are opportunities to rise above the situation.
There is a platitude that is often quote in response to challenging times and difficult situations: “God only gives you what you can handle.” That’s nice, and that’s true, but the difficult situation or emotional pain is still very real. So rather than speak about the many wonderful philosophies that could be derived from this verse, let’s look at it a bit differently.
It may seem odd to say, but in these verses it feels like a real parenting dynamic in which Moshe is the mother. Moshe’s monologue throughout the parsha shifts between warnings, reminders of the good God has done for Bnei Yisrael, recollections of the errors they have committed, and subtle appeals for them not to go astray. Taken all-together, his words reflect his love for this people he has led for 40 years. It’s a tone many of us take with our children.
Moshe is the mother figure because God is a father figure. I understand that too. My father was the final disciplinarian. In our household, he was the parent that I was afraid of crossing... He was also the parent I was most afraid of disappointing.
It is easy to read a verse like this and nod. But Moshe knew how easy it is to let this fundamental knowledge of the relationship of God and Bnei Yisrael become passé, just as a mother will push her child to go give daddy a kiss. It is easy to think that the disciplinarian is out to get you, but a fundamental belief in Jewish life is that everything God does serves a positive purpose, and we should love Him for it.
Until recently in history, this was considered normal parenting. In recent generations, however, we parent more gently. The father’s role is less severe and punishment is often considered detrimental. (Yes, this is a stark generalization.) Perhaps this "more gentle” idea of parenting is one of the reasons that those who disdain religion accuse God of being a hard and cruel deity, but Jews refer to God as Avinu, our father, because we see beyond the black-and-whiteness of the text and the rules and the punishments declared. We see fatherly love.
How does this connect to the parsha? Because in this week’s parsha, Moshe says to Bnei Yisrael: “And you shall consider in your heart that just as man chastises his son, so the Lord your God chastises you” (Devarim 8:5).
The Torah commentator Sforno (Rabbi Obadiah Sforno - Italy - 1475-1550) explains that “along with the commandments He has given you, He gives you a superior moral/ethical challenge to help you achieve perfection as seen from His perspective.” The disciplines - the challenges - that God gives to you are opportunities to rise above the situation.
There is a platitude that is often quote in response to challenging times and difficult situations: “God only gives you what you can handle.” That’s nice, and that’s true, but the difficult situation or emotional pain is still very real. So rather than speak about the many wonderful philosophies that could be derived from this verse, let’s look at it a bit differently.
It may seem odd to say, but in these verses it feels like a real parenting dynamic in which Moshe is the mother. Moshe’s monologue throughout the parsha shifts between warnings, reminders of the good God has done for Bnei Yisrael, recollections of the errors they have committed, and subtle appeals for them not to go astray. Taken all-together, his words reflect his love for this people he has led for 40 years. It’s a tone many of us take with our children.
Moshe is the mother figure because God is a father figure. I understand that too. My father was the final disciplinarian. In our household, he was the parent that I was afraid of crossing... He was also the parent I was most afraid of disappointing.
It is easy to read a verse like this and nod. But Moshe knew how easy it is to let this fundamental knowledge of the relationship of God and Bnei Yisrael become passé, just as a mother will push her child to go give daddy a kiss. It is easy to think that the disciplinarian is out to get you, but a fundamental belief in Jewish life is that everything God does serves a positive purpose, and we should love Him for it.
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