The word dream is, if you think about it, a rather interesting word. Like many words in our language, it has more than one meaning. On the one hand, it refers to that which happens in our minds while we sleep - which scientists will tell you is most often the way the brain processes the overload of information and experiences we each have. On the other hand, we use the word dream to refer to something we hope for ourselves in the future. It is more concrete than a wish, but not by much.
So when we say that this week’s parsha is full of dreams, we really are not just referring to the dreams that shape so much of the story of Yoseph. We are also, one might say, referring to the dreams that shape the actions of the two women in this week’s parsha: Tamar and Eishes Potiphar. Both of these women, according to tradition, dreamed of being linked to the Children of Israel, and perhaps in exploring that fact, one can also see how the Torah demonstrates an important lesson for all those who, in the future, will dream of joining the Jewish people.
Let us look at Eishes Potiphar first. As the narrative tells us, the wife of Potiphar, the master of Yoseph, waited until her household had all gone to a festival and she was left alone in the house with only the servants. She then waylaid Yoseph and attempted to seduce him. When he refused her overtures, she accused him of trying to assault her (using nicer language…ya know). In Beresihis Rabbah 85:2, however, it is stated: “Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said: She saw through her astrology that she was destined to bring forth a child from him, but she did not know whether it would be from her or from her daughter…”
The problem was that Eishes Potiphar might have believed that this was her fate, but she saw it as something surface level. She felt that she had a place among Bnei Yisrael, and she attempted to force herself in without doing the inner work necessary to understand what it meant to be part of a nation meant to dedicate itself to connecting with the Divine. She acted in the most physical means possible, and with raw, untempered emotion, to accomplish that which is meant to bring the spiritual into the world.
Tamar, on the other hand, exemplifies patience. She married into the family of Yehuda - which, of course, Eishes Potiphar was not free and available to do - and, in so doing, accepted upon herself their ways. But it wasn’t easy. She married imperfect youths and was left a young widow. She had joined the family and was then, one might say, ostracized and pushed a way because Yehuda was afraid for his youngest child to marry her. However, Tamar herself didn’t falter. She knew that this was who she needed to be. And yes, similar to Eishes Potiphar, she did take some extreme measures of physicality - we won’t go into that here! - she maneuvered that action into one of spiritual dignity.
Those who choose to join the Jewish people even today do not always find it an easy path, They are, however, people whom we should all look to with admiration for their conviction and their dedication and for the power to transform their dream into reality.
