I often imagine that if I lived in a different time, feeling the necessary awe of Elul would be easier. It’s a logical conclusion given how often the inspirational speakers share stories of the mighty figures of our past – and even common stories of their incredible grandfathers or great-grandmothers or etc. We often find it easier to imagine that their lives were simpler – certainly they weren’t easier – and that that earnest simplicity allowed them to flourish in their emunah.
The basic fact of the matter is, however, that emunah isn’t
easy, and, probably, it was never meant
to be easy. If it was designed to be easy, it wouldn’t have merit; it wouldn’t
shift the balance of one’s neshama. If it was easy, it would make it impossible
for people to have bechira, free will.
A discussion of bechira, however, leads to many questions of
hashgacha and Divine intervention. Did Hashem make something happen or did I
make choices that caused results in reality… were those results always going to
occur? Such questions, of course, drop one back into a question of emunah, of
trying to understand to view the world with the understanding that Hashem
allows this incredible duality of our existence – our choices matter AND Hashem
runs the world. The question of bechira also leads us to the famous statement
of Rabbi Hanina, who said: “Everything is in the hands of Heaven, except for
fear of Heaven.”
Yiras Shemayim is one of the most important goals of a Jew’s
spiritual development, and, like emunah, one of the hardest. Hashem made
humankind with a strongly driven ego. We have trouble completely sublimating
ourselves to anyone, let alone remembering that all that we accomplish is an
accomplishment of our Creator and we are merely His conduits in this world.
Developing our yiras shemayim is not just a goal, though, it is a mtizvah in
and of itself.
According to Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman, the Ramban, it is only
through developing our yirah that we can get to ahava, which is another mitzvah
in the Torah. And Ahavas Hashem is the ultimate achievement of a relationship
with Hashem.
Reading all of that is, in and of itself, somewhat overwhelming.
We have so much we are meant to achieve spiritually, and – at least as my
experience tells me – it only sounds easy. It is a constant spiritual and
emotional battle of will to be active in our emunah, to be striving to have yirah,
and to take the steps to achieve ahavah.
In Sefer Devarim it is made clear that Hashem has always
been prepared for us to slide back down from our achievements, to have moments
of greatness and moments of utter failure. This up and down journey is the path
Hashem made for us because it fulfills our mission of tikun olam. When we have
completed this tumultuous journey, when we have made as much progress in
enhancing the world and ourselves as we possibly can, then Hashem will pull us
into a new era, which we refer to as the era of Moshiach.
In that era, we are told in parshas Nitzavim, “then God,
your God, will ‘circumcise’ your heart, as well as the heart of your
offspring, [enabling you to] love God, your God, with all your heart
and with all your soul, for the sake of your very life” (Devarim
30:6).
Sforno explains that this idea of circumcising the heart is
about removing the very things that make emunah so much work for us today. He
says: “He will open your eyes so as
to remove every erroneous conception that has prevented you from recognising
the theological truth of all aspects of the Jewish religion. Once these ‘blinds’
have been removed from your eyes you will realise that everything G’d has done
was out of His love for you” (Sefaria).
Understanding the idea of Hashem doing only that which is
good for us, even when it seems to cause us pain and suffering, is one of the
greatest challenges of emunah and bitachon. One might think, upon reading
Devarim 30, that if one just waits long enough, everything will be taken care
of. However, it is the very work of developing one’s emunah and bitachon, of
letting the world see emunah and bitachon, that is the work of an eved Hashem –
that is the work that will gets us to Moshiach.
Rabbi Shimshon Refael Hirsch comments on this pasuk: “And by
everything that you have lived through in the past times of trial, and by what
God now lets you live through in this final geula, at last every orlah,
everything ‘intractable’ will be removed from your heart and from your
children’s hearts for ever, so that henceforth ‘God’ and ‘your life’ are
identical for you, and just as your breath is an indispensable part of your
life, so will the consciousness of God, the consciousness and feeling of the
nearness of His bond of the Torah to you, and your nearness to it will be so
much a part of your ‘living’, that with the whole of your heart and soul you
will be absorbed in love of Him.”
Parshat Netzavim is always read in the time before Rosh
Hashana, in the time when we are standing before the heavenly gates and striving
to truly recognize Avinu, Malkeinu, the dual relationship of Hashem as He Who
Judges Us and He Who Loves Us. As we approach this ultimate day of emunah, each
on our varying spectrum of proper awe, let us take strength from Parshat
Nitzavim that the work we do now in Elul and throughout the Aseres Yemai
Teshuvah – and, in truth, throughout the year as we continue to strive for
spiritual growth – is the work that is laying the foundation for the era of
Moshiach, when we will be free of the orlah that interferes with the connection
we so desperately desire.
Wishing you a beautiful Shabbas and a Ksivah v’chasimah new
year – a year full of joy and clarity and strength, and a year in which peace
comes upon us.
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