Understanding Sinai

Originally published on Huffington Post

This is the week when Jews are meant to go back to Mount Sinai. Not literally, of course (especially as there is a debate over exactly where Mount Sinai is), but spiritually. During the celebration of Shavuot, the Jewish people are meant to connect with the significance of the giving of the Torah to the Children of Israel. These Ten Commandments are the building blocks of Jewish life, Jewish law and the civilization that the Torah intends the Jewish people to build.

Oddly enough, the narrative of what occurred at Mount Sinai is not one of the better-known biblical stories. Perhaps, because it is overshadowed by the unfortunate event that happened shortly thereafter...that whole incident with the golden calf.

In order to receive the Torah, the Jewish people were instructed to prepare themselves for three days. They bathed, washed their clothes and refrained from overt physical pleasures. They tried to focus on the event to come. It was a time of incredible excitement and incredible stress. It was so stressful that the Midrash reports that the Jewish people overslept on the morning of the day they were to receive the Torah! (Imagine when you prepare so hard for an event that you forget the little details, like setting an alarm clock.)

On the third morning, a thick cloud covered the mountain and there was thunder and lightning. The Israelites gathered around the small mountain that trembled under the strain of the Divine presence that had descended upon it. And then God spoke the Ten Commandments to the people.

Actually, according to the Midrash, only the first two of the Commandments were spoken aloud by God (Talmud Maakot 24a). This experience alone was overwhelming enough for the Israelites, and they begged Moses to receive the rest of the commandments for them.

The Israelites were overwhelmed by the voice of God, but there is significance to the fact that only the first two commandments were heard by the nation directly from God. These two commandments are: 'I am the Lord your God Who took you out of Egypt' and 'You shall have no other Gods before me."

How can a verse such as "I am the Lord your God" be included in the Ten Commandments if it does not contain an action. Guard Shabbat, Honor your parents, Don't steal...these are commandments that one can readily understand. What is it, exactly, that the verse "I am the Lord your God" is commanding?

Jewish tradition understands that the words "I am" (Anochi) implies the command "to know." One is meant to know, in his/her heart and mind, that there is a God and that God is the omnipresent Creator of all things in the universe.

It is interesting to note that, according to the Sefer Hachinuch, "I am the Lord your God" is one of only six commandments that can, and should, be performed at all times and in all places.

"I am the Lord your God" is at once one of the easiest and one of the most difficult commandments to fulfill. What makes it difficult is that humankind naturally prefers to credit itself for the good (and bad) found in the world. At its most basic, this mitzvah is fulfilled by simply believing in God. The more desirable way to fulfill this mitzvah, however, is to try and see God's hand in one's life all day, every day.

"I am the Lord your God" as seen as the fundamental commandment to see the Divine in all actions allows for a different perspective on the rest of the Ten Commandments (indeed, the rest of the Torah). According to the sages, the first five commandments concern one's relationship with God. The second five are concerned with interpersonal relationships. Strikingly, these two sets of five parallel each other and demonstrate how "I am the Lord Your God is reflected in one's personal and public life:

1) I am the Lord your God and 6) Do not murder: When someone murders another person, the perpetrator, in effect, denies that the victim is created b'tzelem Eh'lokim, made in the image of God. A murderer assumes that there is no higher power who will either punish him/her or who will punish the person whom he/she feels has wronged him/her.

2) You shall have no idols and 7) Do not commit adultery: Just as adultery is being unfaithful to one's spouse, worshiping idols is tantamount to being unfaithful to God.

3) Do not make a false oath and 8) Do not steal: One who swears falsely in God's name distorts the trust that people place in God to uphold justice. One who steals twists the trust another person puts in him/her.

4) Sanctify the Sabbath and 9) Do not bear false witness: By sanctifying the Sabbath day, one bears testimony that God created the world and redeemed the Jews from Egypt. Violating the Sabbath denies both.

5) Honor your mother and father and 10) Do not covet your neighbor's possessions: By honoring our parents, we recognize God as our Creator, thereby honoring Him as well. When we covet our neighbor's possessions we deny God as the Ruler of the world and believe that we have been denied something that we deserve.

Shavuot, the holiday that commemorates the giving of the Torah, begins at sunset on Tuesday night, June 3. To learn more about Shavuot, please visit NJOP's Shavuot Essentials page. To learn more about each of the Ten Commandments, download (for Free) Jewish Treats Guide to the Ten Commandments.

10 Fascinating Facts About The Ten Commandments (The Movie)

Originally published on Huffington Post

Watching Paramount's The Ten Commandments is, for many, an annual part of the spring holidays. While there have been other film versions of the story of the exodus, none have the epic staying power of the 1956 classic. Indeed, many have now grown up with the image of Charlton Heston irreparably set as the image of Moses.

Bringing a bible story to the big screen often warrants certain liberties. In the case of The Ten Commandments, this meant the introduction of a love story between Moses and Nefretiri, a power struggle between Moses and the young Ramses and the creation of Lilia, the love interest of Joshua.

Surprisingly, many of the places Cecil B. DeMille appears to have gotten creative are actually based on extra-Biblical Jewish sources:

1 ) Moses, Conquerer of Ethiopia
The grown-up Moses is introduced in The Ten Commandments when he returns to Pharoah after bringing Ethiopia into alliance with Egypt. There is no record of Moses conquering Ethiopia on behalf of Pharaoh. However, there is a Midrash (narrative from the Oral Torah) that details how, after fleeing Egypt, Moses went to Ethiopia and was named king. This occurred before he came to the tent of Jethro, where he married and became a shepherd.

2) The Day of Moses
In trying to instigate trouble for Moses, Prince Ramses tells his father (Pharaoh Sethi) that Moses not only gave the Hebrew slaves extra grain, but one day in seven to rest, a day that the Hebrews now called "the Day of Moses." While the reference to the "Day of Moses" is a little over the top on drama, it is true, according to the Midrash (Exodus Rabbah 1:28), that Moses convinced Pharoah to give the Jews a day of rest each week. He did so by noting that Pharoah gave his horses time to rest, so why not his slaves.

3) The Evil Dathan
The vile Dathan, played by Edward G. Robinson, is one of the most memorable and unlikable characters in the movie. Dathan and his brother Aviram, who is mostly a silent presence in the movie, appear repeatedly in the Torah as troublemakers. In Egypt, Dathan was an Israelite overseer. Rather than Joshua being the Israelite whose life Moses saves by killing the Egyptian taskmaster, as presented in the movie, there is a Midrash that implies that this was Dathan's story (in the Midrash he is referred to only as the Hebrew). One night, Dathan's Egyptian boss sent him out on assignment and went into his home. In the dark, the Egyptian pretended to be the man and had relations with his beautiful wife (Shelomit). When the man let the taskmaster know that he knew what had happened, the Egyptian began to strike him.

The next day, Moses tried to intercede when Dathan and Aviram are fighting. Dathan is the one whom the Torah quotes as saying: "Will you kill me as you killed the Egyptian?" (Exodus 1:29).

4) The Known Redeemer
In the movie, Prince Ramses is set on finding the foretold redeemer of the Hebrew slaves. With information from Dathan, he is led to Moses, whom he presents to Pharoah Sethi as the one whom they have sought. Unable to kill Moses, who is like a son to him, Pharoah Sethi commands that Moses' name be stricken from all records and that he be sent into exile. In fact, Exodus 2:15 clearly states that "When Pharaoh heard this thing [Moses killed an Egyptian], he sought to slay Moses. But Moses fled..."

5) Muslims in Midian
Jethro and his seven daughters are subtly presented as followers of an Islam-like faith. They claim Ishmael as their forefather and state that Ishmael was the son brought to the mountain as a sacrifice to God. While Jethro is portrayed in the Midrash as a man who tried a wide variety of religions and who was serving as a priest in Midian when Moses met him, he is never associated with Islam -- perhaps because Islam developed hundreds of years later. Even if one were to assume that he was part of a pre-Islamic tribe descended from Ishmael, this would be false because the Midianites were descendants of Abraham and Keturah (his wife after Sarah) and not from Ishmael.

6) Joshua Makes Moses Move
Throughout the movie, Joshua is a bigger-than-life, hunky hero. He's a stonecutter in Egypt who stands up to Dathan, a protector of the elderly Joshabel (meant to be Jochebed) and, most significantly, the man who spurs Moses forward on his search to understand who he is. Alas, none of these instances have any foundation. There is no record of Joshua suddenly appearing in Midian and pushing Moses to go seek God on the mountain. Perhaps this was meant to reflect the biblical account of Aharon coming from Egypt to meet Moses in the wilderness. However, this took place only after Moses had agreed to go and lead the Israelites out of slavery.

7) Hey, That Bush is on Fire
Speaking of the mountain, it appears that everyone in the region can see something special about it. A dark cloud hovers over it at all times, and it is referred to as God's mountain. Additionally, Tzipporah and Joshua tell Moses about the bush that is on fire but does not burn. According to Jewish tradition, Moses did not deliberately go to find God on a known holy mountain with a burning bush visible to others. The biblical text states "Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb" (Exodus 3:1). According to the Midrash, he found the burning bush when he was following one stray sheep to make certain it was returned to its flock.

8) Korach the High Priest
By the end of the movie it appears that the film-makers just wanted to include as many Bible stories as possible. Once the golden calf is made, Dathan takes charge. He declares Korach the high-priest and debauchery and chaos ensue. It is true that Korach was a Levite who wished to be the High Priest and led a rebellion against Moses and Aharon.  It is also true that Dathan was one of Korach's prime supporters in the rebellion. However, the events of Korach's rebellion are recorded in the Book of Numbers and took place elsewhere. The story of Korach is additionally misapproprated when the ground opens up and swallows the unrepentant worshippers of the golden calf. This is actually another piece of the story of Korach. The Torah clearly relates that those who chose the calf over God were slain by the swords of the Levites.

9) One Man Struck Down
In a small but fascinatingly accurate incident in the movie, one man cries out against the licentious worship of the golden calf. Another man comes from behind and strikes him down, presumably killing him. This was not added as random violence but is a reference to the death of Hur, the son of Miriam and Caleb, that is presented in Talmud Sanhedrin 7a: "Rabbi Benjamin ben Japhet says, reporting Rabbi Eleazar: He [Aharon] saw Hur lying slain before him and said [to himself]: If I do not obey them, they will now do unto me as they did unto Hur... Better let them worship the golden calf, for which offence they may yet find forgiveness through repentance."

10) Moses Final Words
The final scene of The Ten Commandments has Moses saying goodbye to a small group of significant characters. After commanding Joshua to be strong leader and to have faith, he presents a copy of the Torah to Eleazar to place in the ark and than tells all those gathered (and perhaps the crowd far below) "Go, proclaim liberty throughout all the lands, unto all the inhabitants thereof!" Beautiful as this verse is, it is actually a reference to the celebration of the jubilee year and comes from the 25th chapter of Leviticus. If it is a quote that you recognize, it is also inscribed on the Liberty Bell.

In Quebec, A Taste of Redemption

Originally published on Times of Israel

Like many Jews at this time of year, I’ve been busy preparing for Passover. There’s the usual cleaning, wondering what we will eat (I’ve threatened chicken and mashed potatoes every night) and keeping the household peaceful with my children off from school.

Because I live in Quebec, however, this year’s Passover preparations have had a whole new dimension. The Hagaddah tells us that “In every generation they rise against us to annihilate us…”

This year, the Jews of Quebec saw just how true this could be. Over the last year and a half, after the Parti Québécois (PQ) was elected into office, the primary legislative concern in the province appeared to be the creation and passing of a Charter of Values. While the term Charter of Values sounds positive, the real meaning was legislation to suppress religious freedom. The values being promoted were a combination of forced secularism and xenophobia, as certain Christian symbols were being redefined as Quebec heritage.

In the course of my life, I’ve had a few run-ins with anti-Semitism, but until this year, I don’t think I every worried that the society in which I was living might turn against me and my people. The most publicized issue of the Charter was the ban on religious symbols such as kippot/yarmulka and scarves. The ban was meant to affect only those who worked for the government, but as the government oversees the medical system, the educational system (and the religious schools do receive some government grants for secular studies that make their tuition more affordable) and a host of other industries that one might expect to be independent…it would have affected a large swath of the population.

With each passing week, it seemed as if the xenophobes we’re gaining power. Other political parties seemed frightened to fully criticize the Charter, afraid to look weak to the Charter’s supporters. The newspapers began reporting incidents of harassment to individuals in religious garb (granted the majority of these incidents involved Muslim women in hijabs). Only weeks before the election, I even heard that the Premiere had said that private business would also be allowed to fire employees who wore religious symbols.

Some Jews chose to move. Many of us held our breath, prayed hard and checked our passports, silently hoping that we weren’t following in the footsteps of the pre-war European Jews who thought that the Nazis were a fluke. After all, a surprising number of people appeared to support this Charter.

Thank God, this past Monday, the PQ was overwhelmingly defeated in a provincial election. There were several reasons that the PQ was ousted from power, and I cannot say for certain that this was a vote against the Charter rather than a reaction to bad economic policy and calls for separation. However, the very fact that the Liberals are now in power means that the province can move forward and away from xenophobia. The threat has been alleviated.

On Monday evening, my husband came home from voting to find me cleaning out the cupboard and getting ready for Passover. He left shortly thereafter to post better directions to the polling booth, so that no vote would be missed, and left again after dinner to drive some neighbors to the voting station.

That night, as the results began to come in, I could not help but think about the fact that this important vote took place a week before Passover. It was a moment (albeit minor in the scope of Jewish history) of redemption for the province’s Jews. Had the PQ won, I knew several people who were thinking of leaving. Had the Charter passed, it is hard to say what would have happened to the Jewish community. And it would have been a shame if the Jews left Quebec, where Jews have lived since 1700s. The modern Jewish community is a vibrant combination of Jews from all walks of life and of incredibly diverse backgrounds.

Following the election, Jews throughout Quebec thanked God for the results and rejoiced over the change of government. Next week, when we sit at our seders and recite Hallel, the Psalms that praise God, we will all, no doubt, have in mind a special sense of gratitude.

The Difference between Settling and Dwelling, as Reflected by Next Week’s Holidays

Originally published on Times of Israel.

Have you ever heard the question: are you a Jewish American or an American Jew? As an English major, I always enjoyed thinking about how the subtle shift in syntax changes the meaning of the phrase. The question, of course, is which word a person uses an adjective and which as a noun. Am I an American who is Jewish or a Jew who is American?

It is a question of mind-frame, about where you are and where you are going. The Torah (Genesis 37:1) states: “Vayeishev Yaakov, and Jacob settled”…and one of the best known commentaries on this verse is that this was an error on Jacob’s part. You see, previously, the patriarchs had always been described as dwelling (or sojourning), implying that they were ready to continue with either or both their physical and spiritual journeys. The commentaries say that everything that happened to Jacob (particularly losing Joseph) was because he “settled,” he became complacent.

Next week, Jews in America will celebrate two holidays, Chanukah and Thanksgiving. Now before I say anything further, let me be clear that I am an ardent practitioner of both.

This year, that celebration has been dubbed Thanksgivukkah – a once-in-a-lifetime holiday for American Jews. But this new celebration makes me pause. Is my identity as an American and as a Jew so intertwined that I have to merge these two celebrations? I want my deep fried donuts and I want my turkey, but that does not mean I want a deep fried turkey.

Most years, Jews have to struggle to remember that Chanukah isn’t the Jewish Christmas. It’s hard to deny that Christmas doesn’t look like a lot of fun to celebrate, but Chanukah bushes and tinselly blue and white decorations have no connection to the holiday. They only send a message that there is something to add to the celebration of Chanukah, as if there is a lack of something…and the same goes for Thanksgivukkah (and yes, most of what I see is adding Thanksgiving to Chanukah, not Chanukah to Thankgiving).

This is the question of settling or dwelling. When one has settled into a place, one begins to absorb the ways and mores of the surrounding people. When one has the attitude of sojourning, or living temporarily (even long-term temporarily) one has a stronger will to maintain one’s unique identity.

The question of identity might be more pressing to me as an American Jew now living in Montreal, Quebec. For those not familiar with the situation, the nationalist party that is currently in power feels that they must assert a homogenous provincial culture. Currently in the legislature is something being referred to as the “Charter of Values,” which basically declares that employees of any business that accepts any government funding (including hospitals, schools, etc.) may not wear religious symbols – kippa/yarmulka, head scarf, cross, etc. At the same time, they are smiling and saying that Quebec is a place that encourages freedom and diversity! Suddenly, I relate a little more strongly to the cause of the Maccabees.

The Maccabees fought against a dominant culture that wished to absorb them, that said, at first, we’re okay with you Jews doing your own thing…but maybe you should do it more like us, and a little more, and still more. In the days of the Maccabees, there were many Jews who had stopped celebrating Jewish life altogether because of the subtle pressure of the society around them…and that was before the Syrian-Greeks began imposing oppressive measures.

Perhaps you are now thinking that it is a bit of a stretch to say that making a Thanksgivukkah celebration is going to lead Jews to assimilating themselves off the demographic map. That is not my point. My point is that my family will enjoy a delicious meal of turkey and stuffing and go around the table noting that for which we are grateful – right after we light the menorah and sing Maoz Tzur and remind ourselves (and those around us who see the menorah lit in the window) of the miracles God performed for the Jews who fought against their way of life beig diluted by the culture of others.

Are You A Kind Person

Originally published on Times of Israel.

In honor of “World Kindess Day,” let me ask you a question. Are you a kind person?

It’s a funny sort of question, and one which I would guess most people don’t frequently ask themselves. We grow up being taught about doing good deeds and being nice to others, and, for the most part, we integrate these concepts in our lives, but do we ever really think about what it means to be kind?

If I were to ask you right now to give me an example of an act of kindness, what would you say? For many people, the go-to answer is making charitable contributions. After all, kindness is about giving something of oneself to help another, and the most obvious way to do this is financially. But while charity is an extremely important and virtuous activity, it says in the Talmud that “Acts of kindness are greater than charity, for it is said (Hosea 1:12), ‘Sow to yourself according to your charity, but reap according to your kindness.’ If a person sows, it is doubtful whether he will eat or not, but when a person reaps he will certainly eat it” (Sukkah 49b).

The sages go on to explain that in three ways kindness is better than charity: (1) Kindness can be done with one’s person and one’s money, as opposed to charity, which can only be done with money. (2) Kindness can be done for any person, rich or poor. (3) Kindness can be done for both the living and the dead.

Acts of kindness, known in Hebrew as gemilut chasadim, are critical not only to a happy society, but to the very existence of the world. It says in the Mishna that gemilut chasadim is one of the three pillars sustaining the world, along with Torah and service to God (Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Fathers 1:2).

Imagine a society where no one takes the time to be kind to one another. It would be an extremely selfish society in which everyone focussed only on their own welfare. Indeed, according to the Midrash, one such society did exist…it was the city of Sodom. A different Mishna in Pirkei Avot lists 4 types of people:

1) The ignorant person says “what’s mine is mine and what’s your is yours;”

2) The saintly person says “what’s mine is yours and what’s your is your own;”

3) The wicked person says “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine;”

4) The person who says “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours,” is said by some to be of the attitude of Sodom.

The city of Sodom, which was destroyed by God in the days of Abraham (Genesis 19), was known as an evil city. One might therefore believe that it was full of thieves, but, actually, it was full of people who took absolutely no interest in the people around them and were uninvolved with the community at large. Theirs was a society that was not a society, it was an assortment of people living near each other and only focussing on themselves and their own needs as individuals.

While kindness is about helping other people, it is also about interacting positively with one another. There are many ways in which a person can perform acts of kindness. Some of the best-known mitzvot associated with acts of kindness are: visiting the sick, welcoming guests, and helping a bride and groom. Many of us, however, don’t always have opportunities to visit the sick, welcome guests or help a couple just starting out. But there are regular opportunities throughout the day for kindness that are often overlooked:

1) During one’s commute, simple acts such as holding the door open for the person behind you or thanking the person who held the door for you (even if you’re on the phone), helping a parent with a stroller go up or down subway stairs, or holding the elevator door when you hear the telltale footsteps of someone hurrying to make it.

2) Throughout the day at work, one can show kindness by helping a co-worker with a project, grabbing a coffee for a busy colleague or making certain to compliment a job well done.

3) And of course, kindness is always welcome at home. Home is actually the perfect place to implement one of the ideas of the World Kindness Movement, which is that one needs to do acts of kindness for oneself. This may mean buying flowers to make one’s home feel warm or taking ten minutes of “me time.” If one lives with other people, then kindness is a natural partner to being conscientious – wash the extra dishes, pay attention when being told about someone else’s day, etc.

There is one act of kindness that one can do at all times and in almost all situations. The simple act of smiling at another person is an act of kindness. The Talmud states, “The man who shows his teeth [smiles] is better than one who gives milk to drink” (Ketubot 101b).

Being kind cannot be limited to one day a year, but having World Kindness Day is a wonderful reminder of the kindesses we can do every day.

So stop reading this article and smile pleasantly at the next person that you see.

(For more on acts of kindness, visit Jewish Treats.)

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Originally published on Times of Israel

When I first started dating in the Orthodox world, I had two major expectations. The first was that God would reward me for becoming religious by making the process fast and easy. The second was that when I met “the one” there would be fireworks and orchestrated music all around us.

As you might have guessed, I was a little immature at the time. My dating process was neither fast nor easy, but I can now say that the process I went through was a Divine gift. If I had married one of the men I had met in my earliest dating years, I am not certain the marriage would have lasted. Certainly I would not be the person who I am today. I would never have figured out where I myself was most comfortable in the spectrum of Jewish life. I might never have come to work for the National Jewish Outreach Program (now NJOP). I might not have found the inner strength that carried me through the loss of my father. In the years I was single, I learned to listen to others, to be more flexible, to hear my own voice and accept my own strengths and challenges. (Not to mention the fact that my husband-to-be was not even Jewish at that point – but that’s a story for another time.)

Many people who wish to get married face the tremendous challenge of overcoming the extremely romantic notions that saturate our society. We learn it first in our childhood through Disney: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty…Did any of them even know anything about their prince before professing their undying love? Moving out of childhood, one is inundated with romantic songs, love-struck television characters and unfathomable epics of true love at the movies. Love as a many-splendored thing is such an overwhelming part of American culture that it is almost impossible to believe that marrying for love was once the privilege of a rare few.

In the world of Orthodox dating, young men and young women (or often their parents) use an intermediary for introduction. The intermediary may be a shadchan (matchmaker) or a friend, relative or acquaintance. Before the couple is introduced, both sides confirm that the other has the qualities for which they are looking. It is a system that has worked surprisingly well for generations. (For more on shadchan, click here.)

That which one might consider to be the very first “shidduch” (match) was Isaac and Rebecca. The matchmaker was Abraham’s man-servant Eliezer. Abraham only gives him one criteria – that the girl not be from the surrounding Canaanite families. But, Eliezer knows the family so well that he does not need further information. As he approaches the city of Nahor, Eliezer prays that God will make the choice obvious, a prayer that is answered when Rebecca not only offers him water, but draws water for his camels as well. Rebecca travels with Eliezer back to Abraham’s camp, ready to accept an unknown fiancé based on the character references of Eliezer and Abraham’s reputation for kindness. About the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca, the Torah says only this: “and he took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her” (Genesis 24:67). Isaac came to love her only after he married her, love came through knowledge and partnership.

From the moment I met my husband, I liked him. He was smart, funny, sensitive and quite handsome. Was it love at first sight? I can’t say that. I can say that seeing what a kind, sincere and good-natured person he was, I actually said to my roommate: “Please don’t let me mess this up!” Our dating process, while only 3 months, was not smooth. Our engagement period, an additional 4.5 months, was even worse. As happy as I was, I often found myself riddled with confusion: “Do I love him? If so, where are those fireworks? But I want to marry him. In fact I can’t picture myself not married to him! But am I certain? How do I know if he’s the right one?”

Instead of enjoying the idea of finding my ezer k’negdo, my soul mate, I was busy worrying if he was my Prince Charming. (To read more about the concept of ezer k’negdo, click here.)

Now I don’t know about you, but I never found Prince Charming to be a man of any particular depth. Sure he is extremely good looking, but is he kind, sincere, pious, ambitious, laid back, or any of the other qualities that different people seek in a spouse?

If there is one lesson about dating that can be learned from the story of Isaac and Rebecca, it is the importance of seeing the potential spouse’s midot (best translated as character traits). Does he/she talk rudely to waiters? Does he/she tip? Is he/she considerate of others? Eliezer was drawn to Rebecca as a likely candidate because she shared the value of kindness that was ingrained in Abraham’s family.

My husband and I come from very different backgrounds, but we share so many mutual values with each other that it doesn’t matter. Did I love him on the day we got married? Perhaps, but not nearly as much as I do now. We had the seeds of love and we were both dedicated to making ourselves into a unit and building a home together. From that commitment, true love builds.

What's In A Name?

My name is Princess Ewe. Seriously, if you translate my name from Hebrew into English, it literally means Princess Ewe. Thankfully, my name is also a combination of two of the names of Jewish matriarchs: Sarah (which means princess) and Rachel (which means ewe). Being named after two of the four Jewish matriarchs means that I end up paying extra attention to most of the readings of the Book of Genesis.

Not only do I enjoy reading (and rereading every year) the personal stories of Sarah and Rachel, but I often find ways that my life connects to theirs. For instance, Sarah is not the matriarch’s given name. When she is introduced in the Torah she is referred to as Sarai, just as Abraham is known at first as Abram. In Genesis 17, however, God informs Abram that his name will now be Abraham and instructs him that “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. And I will bless her, and moreover I will give you a son of her; yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be of her” (17:15-16).

As much as I love being called Sarah Rachel,* it is not my legal name. Like many Jewish parents, mine gave me both an English and a Hebrew name. For the first 20 years of my life, I was known as Carolyn. (My middle name, Dawn, was rarely spoken aloud unless I was in serious trouble!)

As I increased my involvement in the Jewish community, however, I found myself being asked about my Hebrew name more and more often. I finally began using my Hebrew name after I tried to get a substitute teaching job in the Brooklyn Jewish community. Sarah got quite a few more call-backs than did Carolyn.

Let me be clear, I did not change my name in order to get a job in the Orthodox community. (My lack of professional experience was enough to kill that effort on its own!) But the search for that job made me think about who I was and who I wanted to be. Believing in the importance of living a life full of Jewish ritual, using my Hebrew name seemed a logical step to me at the time. (OK, I must admit, I was never a huge fan of being called Carolyn. It just didn’t suit me.)

Jewish tradition, from Genesis through the writings of the great sages, reflects the importance of a person’s name. A name defines a person. Adam was called Adam because he was made from the ground, which is adamah. The name Eve (Chava), who was the first woman, is a derivative of the word chai, life. Was I Carolyn a derivative of Charles – or was I Sarah Rachel, Jewish princess (in a good way)?

Whether a person uses it on a regular basis or not, a Hebrew name is one of the critical totems of Jewish identity. It connects a person to his/her family and to generations of Jews. In Ashkenazi families, a child is often named for a deceased grandparent or great-grandparent. Sephardim, on the other hand, name children after living relatives, making the familial cycle of names even tighter.

Unlike Sarai, God did not tell me that I should change my name, and so I was left with a few choices to ponder. Did I wish to be known as Sarah, Sarah Rachel, or perhaps just Rachel? The problem with Sarah or Rachel on their own was that they didn’t stand out from the hundreds of Sarahs and Rachels in the Jewish community. By using both names together, I was at least distinguishing myself a little bit.

More importantly to me, however, was the fact that I had been named after two different women, my mother’s maternal and paternal grandmothers, Sarah and Rose (Rachel). I wanted to honor both women, and so I began introducing myself as Sarah Rachel. It took a while, but eventually even my mother now calls me by my Hebrew name.

I don’t mean that every Jew who wishes to demonstrate how proud they are of their Jewish heritage should begin using their Hebrew name, as I did. Just knowing one’s Hebrew name is important as there is a sacredness to one’s Hebrew name.

It is easy to forget that the naming of a child is a religious ritual in Jewish life. Boy’s receive their names at the time of their brit milah (circumcision). Girls are named during a special ceremony at a Torah reading shortly after they are born.

The Hebrew names that we are given at birth are the ones that we use for a lifetime of Jewish rituals. One is called to the Torah with one’s Hebrew name, one’s Hebrew name is written on the ketubah (marriage contract). And, when prayers are recited in one’s merit in times of need (such as when on is, God forbid, ill).

Why talk about Hebrew names now? Right now, the Jewish world is staring at a mirror and trying to find ways to secure the Jewish identity of future generations. There is an ancient Midrash that explains that by the time Moses came to redeem the Jewish people from slavery, they had lost most of their distinctive identity except for the way they dressed, their language and their names.

This Midrash highlights the incredible importance of identifying with our Hebrew names. I don’t know much about my great-grandmothers – I don’t know if they lit Shabbat candles or kept a kosher home – but I do know that just bearing their names has always played an important role in how proud I am of my Jewish heritage.

– If you are interested in learning more about Hebrew names, visit Twebrewschool.org and learn about the fascinating background of some of the most popular names that have come from Jewish life.

*While I spell my name Sarah Rochel, representing the way I pronounce it, I have used Rachel in this article because it is the more common spelling.